


That's a first

by fluffycottonfelix



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Confused Kim Seungmin, Fluff, Happy Ending, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kim Seungmin-centric, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mentioned Choi Jisu | Lia, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27295528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffycottonfelix/pseuds/fluffycottonfelix
Summary: Seungmin's life is Seungmin centered. He had no friends nor family as he juggles between his part-time jobs and studying for college. The thought of loving someone has never once crossed his mind.Until a certain Hwang Hyunjin changes his mind.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	1. You don't know me?

**Author's Note:**

> heyyo im a new author.

Now that Seungmin has to do part-time jobs aside from studying for his finals, days have been inexplicably both mentally and physically draining. He never really had any health complications ever since he was born, and he rarely gets sick. However, these days, even merely walking to class exhausts him.

The only motivation that drives him to school is to get that degree. After his parents passed away due to an accident a few decades back, he lost all will to keep on living. After a few months of his parents' passing, he decided to build up his life from scratch, by himself, and see how far he can go.

Going into the 1st year, he began to think maybe college life is not so bad after all, provided that he performs well and excels in every single course he's taking. But now he's in his 3rd year, the year of mental breakdowns, he's starting to contemplate his life decisions.

Seungmin sighs as he wipes the countertop. He is refilling the soft cookies into the glass jar when he hears the chime, indicating someone is walking in.

The young, distressed barista didn't bother looking at the door and only greets the customer with their signature 'welcome to Panorama Café!' line, sans the exclamation mark.

The soft cookies are refilled, so he closes the jar. He moves his attention to the customer, who is scrutinizing the menu on the counter.

With his head down, all that Seungmin can see is his long black bangs and his pout as he focuses on what to order.

As the customer lifts his head, he brightly smiles. "Can I order a large cup of iced latte- oh!"

Seungmin, who was registering the customer's order, glances at him as he gasps. He then grabs a large plastic cup and uncaps a black marker.

"Your name, sir?" he asks. The latter's smile fades into a frown.

The black-haired customer widens his eyes. "You don't know me? I'm Hyunjin! Hwang Hyunjin-"

"Okay, Hyunjin. Please wait as I prepare your order. Thank you." Seungmin nonchalantly says. He looks up to Hyunjin, who is slightly taller than him.

Hyunjin furrows his eyebrows. "No way... Seungmin, I'm hurt." He crosses his arms across his chest. "You really don't know me?"

Seungmin takes a few steps towards the coffee machine. "Do I have to- wait, how did you know my name?" He checks his apron and notices that he's not wearing his name tag today. He wonders to himself if he lost it or if he left it home. He then fills the plastic cup with ice.

"We're classmates! For arts!"

The barista's movements stop to a halt after placing the milk carton down. He suddenly remembered that he has an art assignment, which is due next week. He grunts as he proceeds to put a lid on the cup before carefully placing it on the counter that separates the customer and the cashier.

"Here's your coffee. It's-"

Before Seungmin could finish his sentence, Hyunjin slides his card across the counter. The light brown-haired male receives it with a forced smile until he feels a papery texture underneath the card.

It's a note. Seungmin blinks for a few seconds and finishes up Hyunjin's payment. Then he returns his customer's card along with a receipt. He thrusts the note in the deepest part of the pocket of his black slacks.

"Have a nice day, sir." He managed to say before Hyunjin exits the cafe. The day has just started, yet he already could feel his limbs throbbing in pain, and his whole body feels slightly sluggish than usual.

_This is not a good sign._

_A fever?_

Customers begin to fill in the café. People who come to grab their morning coffee and breakfasts chatter about in the café, taking turns to order at the counter. Seungmin tries his best to keep his heavy head up and entertain as many customers as he can until another worker in his shift arrives.

After finished taking everyone's orders, he takes out a packet of pills from his apron pouch. He swallows one with a gulp of water and begins to prepare everything.

-=-

It's almost afternoon. His shift is ending, but his colleague has yet to arrive. He leans his back on a wooden chair, his cheeks flushing. He massages his temples until he hears his phone buzzes. He receives a text from someone.

"Seungmin, I had an emergency! I told the boss, but I forgot to tell you...Sorry!"

The brown-haired male lets out a heavy sigh, glancing at the clock before him. Another 10 minutes and he will be able to go home.

'10 more minutes, and then you can rest, Seungmin.' He purses his lips into a thin line before groaning. "On the second thought, maybe I'll do some math and study for a bit...then I'll sleep."

The door chime chimes again after 10 minutes. His body perks up to the sight of his colleague for the next shift as she walks in. She flashes a grin towards him before her lips abruptly curl downwards. She laces her eyebrows in concern.

"Seungmin, you look haggard. Where's Yena?" she asks as soon as she steps into the staff area.

"She's absent." He huffs.

"Again? Ugh, I swear if she does this to you again, I'll-" Jisu balls up her fists.

The latter shoots her weak smile and walks towards the door. "Nah, it's fine. I think I'll leave now. Thanks, Jisu."

"Rest well, Seungmin!"

-=-

As soon as Seungmin reaches the bus stop, he rakes his hair and sighs. The pain is so immense that he's unsure that he can even walk straight anymore. His vision starts to blur, and he could no longer feel his legs. To Seungmin's dismay, he takes out his phone and uncrumples note he received earlier.

He's desperate enough to do this.


	2. I'm not kind just to anyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially came up with only 2 chapters but then I realized it's a tad too long ;-; so i end up having 3 chapters hahshshsh anyways, here ya go!

What a sad and pitiful life. His contact list is almost empty, aside from his employers' and a few lecturers' numbers. There are only 8 people on his contact list, and none of them he can contact to ask for help.

With a feeling of reluctance tugging his heart, he dials the number and waits.

"Hello?" Seungmin widens his eyes as soon, his heart races as the familiar voice rings his ears.

"H-hello...I'm Seungmin. The barista you met just now, your...classmate. I'm so sorry for being sudden but-"

"Seungmin, are you sick?" Seungmin distances the phone from him to cough, but Hyunjin catches that. "That sounds terrible."

"I...need..to..go.." The younger male swallows the bitter lump in his throat. His next words come in a slur, barely coherent. "Can ... you... help... me to the …clinic?"

Seungmin feels like banging his head into a wall. His weakness got the best of him, and now he's asking for help from someone whom he barely knows. He wonders what Hyunjin is thinking of him now. Maybe now he sees him as a desperate, pathetic, and self-proclaimed loner?

Hyunjin hums over the phone. "Sure, I can. I assume you're waiting at the bus stop near the café?"

"Yeah…” Seungmin sighs in relief.

"Okay, I'll be there in 10 mins. Please stay alive until then." He adds jokingly before ending the call.

The brown-haired male checks the time on his phone and let himself drift into a nap while he waits.

-=-

Seungmin slowly lifts his eyelids. He immediately squints as soon as the bright light gets into his eyes. He hastily sits up and panics as soon as he realized.

There is a needle with a tube attached to his right hand, linking to a bag of transparent fluid hanging on an intravenous pole. Everyone is talking in hushed voices with uniforms and white gowns. There is a faint scent of antiseptic wafting inside the spacious room.

He's in a hospital.

He searches around, racking his brain for answers. He never went to a hospital, let alone get warded. The last thing he remembered was dozing off at the bus stop and…

Hyunjin.

"Why am I here?"

His eyes widen as soon as he spots his left hand is wrapping someone else's hand. The owner of the hand, who was lying his head on the bed, slowly looking up to Seungmin.

"Doctor said you're stressed, so you had a high fever. Did you have a good rest?" He glances at their hands before Seungmin jerks his. Hyunjin feels a bit taken aback by his sudden reaction. "Oh, you seemed like you had a hard time sleeping, so I held your hand. Then you seemed to calm down. Sorry for doing that without asking you."

Seungmin takes in the features of the man before him. He just realized how beautiful Hyunjin is. From his black hair to his plump, pink lips. He looks even more beautiful now that his bangs are no longer covering his forehead. Maybe he was too sick to notice it back in the café.

The way he looks at him, it holds gentleness and warmth. Something he never felt and experience in a very long time.

"Thank you for helping me. I’m sorry to have to bother you." Seungmin bows apologetically. "It's okay, you can go home now. I can take care of myself."

Hyunjin's smile fades a little. It's still there, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Oh, I see. Hmm…" His voice sounded disappointed rather than relief. He doesn't seem like he wants to leave, though.

Of course, he should feel relieved. No one is kind enough to take care of an ill stranger, Seungmin thought. But why does he sound so sad? Is he lonely or something? Seungmin feels lonely at times, but to feel lonely is a luxury he can't afford.

Why? It's because if he has the time to feel lonely, he'd rather use that time to study.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I should pay for your-"

The raven-haired male waves his hands, dismissing the idea. "No, no! There's no need. I did all this because I wanted to."

"Huh..?" The brown-haired male tilts his head to one side. "That's a first."

"What do you mean?"

Seungmin bites his lower lip, bringing his hand to run on to his hair. "Never have I ever in my life encountering someone kind to me without expecting anything in return."

He rubs his nape before continuing. "Not that I have anything special to offer, but I just know that kindness these days…aren't free."

"You're almost there." Hyunjin clears his throat as he rises to his feet. "But, you still don't get it, do you?"

Hyunjin's last question didn't sound condescending, but it sounded sad.

"I do this because I like you." He eventually confesses.

Seungmin raises his eyebrows, bemused. "Oh…so people nowadays do random acts of kindness for the people they like? In that case, do you often help people, Hyunjin? That's admirable."

The raven-haired male stifles a laugh. He sighs as he sits down again. "Nah, I don't help this much to anyone. I'm not kind enough to carry just any random stranger that I like into my car and bring them to a hospital because they are sick."

"Well, that's because I called you. It's only logical for that to happen. Sorry that you had to carry me, though." Seungmin flashes an awkward smile, his cheeks dusted with a faint tint of blush.

Hyunjin laces his fingers together. "I like, _like_ you. The kind of like you tell someone that you have a crush on."

Seungmin only stares at the man before him, registering every single word. He's about to open his mouth to say something before the taller guy stands up.

"I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. Besides, you don't even know me that well. You know what? You can just forget it-"

He's about to step out (slash making a run for it) when he feels something warm curling around his wrist.

Seungmin immediately lets go of Hyunjin's wrist when he made sure the latter is looking back at him.

"That's..that's also a first.." he hesitates. "I- I think…Can you give me some time? I'll try to give you an answer before tomorrow ends."

Hyunjin's lips curl upwards as he walks nearer towards the younger male, who looks smaller in the thick blanket. He reaches out a hand to pat the latter's head.

"Sure. But I hope you don't reciprocate my feelings out of pity or guilt. You can turn me down if you want to. So, don't feel pressured by it, okay?" He feels as if he's patting a puppy, with the fluffy brown hair underneath his hand. He doesn't feel like letting go.

"Thank you." Seungmin mumbles. Hyunjin takes one last look at him before excusing himself. Seungmin lets his eyes trail Hyunjin’s back until he disappears from his sight.

He didn’t realize he was grinning like a fool before he slaps his lips. That’s a first. No one has ever brought this much effect to him before.

-=-

The dreaded day has finally arrived. Seungmin wasn’t able to get a wink of sleep last night. He tossed and turned on his bed, yet he still couldn’t get the thoughts out of his head.

‘What if he was lying?’ ‘Is love even true?’ ‘Can he be committed to a relationship?’ Those questions kept occupying his head, roaming around without any answers.

But most importantly, does he even like the guy? He tries to dig deeper, finding solace in the darkness of his cold bedroom. He shifts his gaze to the ceiling above him.

He failed to obtain an answer through the sleepless night. He begins to regret asking him only one day to think about this.

Seungmin pushes all the thoughts away and gives his full attention in class.

-=-

After the third period ended, he checks his phone. No messages. Deep inside he wishes that Hyunjin would be too busy for them to meet and that they have to postpone the discussion.

He slides his phone into the pocket of his hoodie and moves on to his next class.

-=-

Seungmin takes an empty seat in the lecture hall, which is mostly unoccupied. He checks his watch. There’s still 15 minutes before class actually starts.

He opens his notebook and re-read the notes for today’s lecture which he had studied 2 days prior. That’s his studying style. He’s not the type to cramp things last minute, so he prefers to study the lecture notes and try to solve as many problems as he can, with his basic understanding of the particular topic. So far, it’s working well with his busy schedules and he feels less stressed knowing he already grasped a large portion of the subject his taking into his comprehension.

He just finished skimming the notes before he yawns and rests his head on the desk. 

“Maybe I’ll take a nap until the professor comes…” he mumbles to himself, his hand covering the top part of his face from the blinding light.


	3. For the first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finallyyyyy

“Hey…” A gentle voice calls out to him. Seungmin slowly lifts his head, rubbing his eyes. “Wake up, the professor’s here.”

The voice sounds like honey to his ears. It’s not too deep, nor is it too soft. It sounds perfect and it somehow calms him down. He often got praised for having a sweet voice, but he never really understand what it means to have a voice that is pleasant to the ears.

He found out now.

He stretches his arms. He whips around as the realization hits. He widens his eyes as soon as it lands on a familiar tall, black-haired man. The man is sitting next to him, with his notebook filled with scribbles spreading on the desk before him. 

“Did you have a good nap? You look like you could use some more.” He shoots a smile. It somewhat warms Seungmin insides, but he is unsure why.

Seungmin picks up his ballpoint pen. “That’s okay. Thank you, Hyunjin.”

The professor begins his lecture by projecting a PowerPoint slide on a white screen for the whole class,

The fatigue got washed away by the short nap, yet Seungmin still feels restless. His breathing is erratic and his heart beating fast. He thought he could focus on the lecture now that he’s no longer sleepy but he has his whole system that needed calming down.

Is it because he is sleep-deprived or is it because he forgot to take his breakfast?

He nods to himself. Maybe it’s the latter. He mentally notes to take an extra portion of food for lunch.

As the class ensues, Hyunjin keeps averting his eyes from the screen and to Seungmin. A smile plastered on his pink lips.

-=-

“Are you going to lunch now, Seungmin?” Hyunjin asks as the younger male zips his gray canvas bag. He slings his bag over his shoulder and nods.

“Who do you often eat with?”

Seungmin grips the straps of his bag. “Uh, I usually eat alone. Why?” Usually is an understatement, he _always_ eats alone.

The other male’s dark brown eyes lit up. “Can I eat with you?”

“I guess… sure.” He returns the latter smile, this time with a sincere one. _'Why's he being so excited about?'_

He feels bad for treating him the way he treated him back in the café the other day.

“Good!” He exclaims enthusiastically and they both walk side by side towards the cafeteria.

-=-

The reason why Seungmin always eats by himself is he finds it more convenient. He has no one to wait for and he will not make anyone wait for him. Plus, he never really had anyone to eat with. Having lunch is a task to him, rather than something he wants to do for himself.

Seungmin stuffs his mouth with another spoonful of rice. He then takes a spoonful of _kimchi-jiggae._ He closes his eyes to the soft tofu melting in his mouth, with the spicy broth filling up his senses. He feels his energy and the peace in his body have been restored.

So it is true, it must’ve been because he was hungry and eating with Hyunjin doesn’t feel so bad after all.

“Ahhh, it’s been a while since I have last eaten this much rice.” He picks up a piece of egg roll with his chopsticks. “You look so cute when you eat.” He adds.

The brown-haired male almost bit his tongue from the sudden compliment. He lets out a chuckle and decides to focus on something else instead. “But you’re eating so little, Hyunjin. How much is a lot to you?”

Hyunjin sighs. “I have a pretty strict diet. Being a model is not all sunshine and rainbows.”

“You’re a model?” Hyunjin juts out his lower lip and nods. “Wow, that’s cool. It’s because you’re really good-looking, so I’d figure you’d be a good model.”

That’s when he hears the other male suddenly coughs, frantically reaching for his water. He could see Hyunjin’s face as red as the broth in his bowl. Seungmin passes him a napkin.

Hyunjin wipes the corner of his lips with the napkin, but it could not wipe off the obvious blush on his cheeks. “T- Thank you.”

Seungmin raises his eyebrows but decided not to push it further. “Uhh...no problem.”

If he wasn’t confused a few minutes ago, now he is. Giving compliments is normal for Seungmin, it’s just his way of warming up to people.

But normally, Seungmin is not the one who is affected by it. Turns out his heart doesn’t stop racing even after he is full after all.

-=-

Everyone in Seungmin’s life always comes and goes. Thus he decided not to form any emotional attachments with anyone. He finds bonding with other people is simply a task he wishes to avoid unless needed. Not that he hates the idea of socializing, he just can’t bring himself to trust and love anyone with his whole heart again.

He thinks that the only one who can truly accept the way he is is none other but himself. He wishes he could change that, but he no longer finds value in befriending people. He finds no value in relationships. He lived his whole life enveloped by loneliness. He enjoys his own company. He got used to living alone, he forgets what it feels like to have someone to share his life with.

It’s been a while since he felt warmth. It's been a while since he feels he needs someone.

“Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin didn’t look up from his book and proceeds to flip to another page, but he turns off the music on his phone. “Yes, Seungmin?”

Seungmin hesitates for a while. He fiddles the hem of his shirt with his fingers, in his head, he sorts out his thoughts.

“I need to tell you something.” He clears his throat, straightening his back.

The raven-haired male stops flipping the pages and closes the book. He takes off his AirPods before clasping his hands together underneath his chin.

“Take your time. It’s okay.”

The latter’s lips curl upwards as he nods subtly. He inhales the scent of coffee and sweet pastries in the cafe to calm himself down. The last thing he wants right now is to stutter and end up not getting his points across.

“I’m uncertain by the new feelings that surged up within me, after meeting you. I’d be lying if I told you I’m not overwhelmed and confused right now.”

Hyunjin’s grin fades. He could somehow expect the answer. He leans back in his chair, trying not to let the disappointment show on his face.

“For the first time in 20 years, I had lunch with someone. For the first time, I have someone worrying about my health…and…care deeply about me. For that, I appreciate it so much, Hyunjin. It’s just that I- ”

The raven-haired male raises his eyebrows. His lips parted as the realization hits him. Seungmin already has a lot on his plate, yet he’s burdening him more with his feelings. He sits up and opens his mouth.

“I understand. I’m sorry for suddenly confessing to you too. I promise I won’t bring it up ever again and I’ll-“

“It’s just that I get clueless whenever I like someone. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I don’t deserve to like you.” Seungmin continues. Hyunjin stops rambling and forgets how to breathe altogether.

Hyunjin’s eyes sparkle, a bright smile plastered on his face. There’s a faint tint of blush on his cheeks. His ears are blocking off every single voice within the café except for Seungmin’s.

“Come again?” He asks to make sure that he heard it correctly.

The brown-haired male bites his lips before uttering the words. “I like you too, Hwang Hyunjin.”

As soon as he said it, he could see Hyunjin's face reddens. It couldn't get redder than that. If fireworks were to use to display the feeling of elation in his own heart, it could take more than several nights. Maybe forever. He never felt this happy before. He wonders if he deserves to feel happy.

Hyunjin covers his mouth with his hands after he gasped. “So, you’ll fall in love with me?”

“I’ll try my best. But...” Seungmin shifts his gaze to the table between them.

"But why?"

The brown-haired male grins meekly, "I don't know how...to...because it's my first time. I might be a little bit slow." 

The other male holds Seungmin’s hand on the table, before circling his palm with his thumb. “That’s fine. Baby steps, okay, Seungminnie?”

Seungmin could hear his heart beating thumping loud. He might need more time to get used to all this.

“Thank you, Hyunjinnie.”

This is a first. The first time Seungmin casts aside his worries about his busy life for someone other than himself. The first time he has someone else in his life he could rely on. The first time he feels belonged to someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy... thank you for reading! I hope you'll have a good day ahead ~

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! IM SORRY ITS BAD


End file.
